Women’s Bra a Flop

Fairfax, VA—The Gray Sox marketing department has a lot of explaining to do. Last year, millions of dollars were spent on extensive research to lure more women to the ballpark and make them feel comfortable at the same time. “We discovered that women wanted to feel like they were part of the game,” said a Gray Sox marketing manager who asked that his name not be used in this story. He has since resigned from his post. “After a night of binge drinking, a couple of my superiors thought it might be interesting to develop a bra crafted from leather baseball mitts. They’d come in a range of sizes just like real mitts do, with a catcher’s mitt covering the most flesh and infield mitts for women with, well, less going on. I thought it was a terrible idea.”

Thousands Made, No Breasts to Support

Despite some internal reservations, the bras came to fruition and thousands were manufactured in Asia and shipped to Gray Sox headquarters. They retailed for $39.99. To date, only three bras have been sold, all to the same woman, Mi Ti Li (pictured), who told a reporter that she seldom wears the bra except to Sox games. “Leather smells okay to me,” she said.

Bras Just Not Flattering

Most women suggested that the bra doesn’t exactly flatter them. “Try putting a blouse over those things,” said Helen Burnitsky, an avid Sox fan. “It looks like you’re trying to conceal an old pair of Chuck Taylors. I’d rather wear a [expletive] sandwich board.”


(Story by Monty Huekle, a reporter for BBN. This story was not subject to the approval of MSBL or its clubs.)

    • dirty old man
    • April 23rd, 2008

    where’s the bat?

    • just wondering
    • April 23rd, 2008

    so does the size scale go from “Second Basement’s Mit” to “Center Fielder?” I mean, I’m just wondering.

    • Cripple
    • April 23rd, 2008

    Hey, what’s my wife doing modeling this stuff on the web?

  1. Interesting Read! Very detailed blog.
    Thanks for sharing

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