Sox Cut “Momo Pepe” | Fans of Monkey Upset, Threaten Team Boycott

Sox Monkey Right Fielder

Fairfax, VA—As the Gray Sox prepared for their season opener against the Washington Red Sox on Sunday, it was revealed late Wednesday that the team’s last cut was long-time right fielder “Momo Pepe,” a chimp who broke in with the team in the late 1980s. Momo, a fan favorite, was given the news by team owner Hiram “Happy” Maloney because team manager Timmy Timlonson, who had played with Momo in the Costa Rican Rain Forest League during the 1970s, was so upset that he could not give the chimp the news himself.          “Momo has lost a step, and it’s clear that his personal life has impacted his game,” said Maloney. “No one wanted to see this day come, but I think Momo has some other options with teams in this league. We wanted to cut him loose now, so he could explore those options.” Momo Pepe shattered an ankle in an off-season ATV accident at his home outside of Las Vegas, and Las Vegas police said he was incoherent when medics arrived, probably due to alcohol. Momo Pepe refused a breathalyzer. The Sox former right fielder also has been linked to comedienne Phyllis Diller, who requested a restraining order against the chimp last fall after he was spotted, according to Hollywood police, “urinating on Ms. Diller’s Mercedes and humping her mailbox.”  “If Momo goes, I go,” said a visibly shaken Sox fan, Cassie Gaines, 27, on the streets outside The Shrine, home field of the Sox.  Another fan, Karl Kasselbaum, 39, held a homemade sign that read: “Slapping the Monkey Is a Sin!”

 

(Story by Monty Huekle, a reporter for BBN. This story was not subject to the approval of MSBL or its clubs.)

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    • tarzan
    • April 3rd, 2008

    It’s ok ,I think we still have chimps playing the outfield

  1. September 5th, 2017

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